Driving in India: Part 1



Can you swerve wildly?
Do you enjoy roller coaster rides?
Are your ears immune to loud noises?
Can you brake at the last moment, without any warning?
Can you maneuver a vehicle when pedestrians, rickshaws, cycles, scooters, motor-bikes, cars, buses and trucks are on the same road?


If the answers to all the above-mentioned questions are a series of resounding ‘Yes’s’, then Congratulations! You are fit to drive in India.

Apart from never-ending traffic jams, unkempt roads and no space for parking, we encounter a much bigger problem on the Indian roads- The DRIVERS! Not a day goes by without witnessing the stupidity of some fool with a license to drive.

So here is a list of 12 types of drivers on Indian roads:- 

 1.The Overspeeder: This person drives like he is playing a video game; speeding like a maniac and zig-zagging through the traffic without any indication whatsoever (obviously, because here indicators are just two colorful/decorative lights). Speed limit? Speed breaker? What are those!



2. The Tortoise: I am all for slow and safe driving. But there is slow, and then there is S L O W. I did not wake up at 6:30am in the morning only to get stuck behind a slow coach, thus getting late for work! The icing on the cake is that those who drive the slowest ,are often in the right-most lane which is meant for fast-drivers. Traffic rules and civic sense be damned.



3. The Confused soul: This kind is the most irritating one by far. Such persons stop every now and then, to ask for directions RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, bringing the traffic to a halt. This is especially true for cab drivers who take ages to decipher google maps, as if they were a code language, thus having to halt and ask for directions. If only they could do so, while parked in a side-lane…..



4. The King/Queen of the road: This lot can make even a nun swear! Parking the car wherever he/she wishes, opening a car door irrespective of the oncoming traffic (many times to spit paan , of all the reasons!!!) and driving in the wrong lane; these people exemplify everything that is wrong with some of the drivers in our country.


5. The Honking enthusiast: If only incessant honking magically cleared the traffic…..All I want to say is that DON’T Horn Ok Please, every chance you get.



6. The Zebra line-crosser: For this type, zebra crossing is just a bunch of white lines drawn on the road that are meant to be ignored, and pedestrians an inconvenience. This kind will never ever stop before a zebra crossing. Pedestrians have rights? What a joke.



7. The Polluter: First they throw their trash out the window of their cars and then complain about pollution. This kind deserves a standing ovation because it take a special level of ignorance to continue littering, after the publicity the Swacchh Bharat Abhiyan has received.



8. The Fighters: The middle of a road or a boxing-ring, it is the same to them. It doesn’t matter if they are at fault, once they get their hands on you, you’re in for a sore (pun intended) experience.



9. The Abusers: Inappropriate gesturing and hurling abuses is their specialty. The drivers in India, especially Delhi have been partially responsible for building my vocabulary on cuss-words (I have been here for about seven years, and believe me, I’m still learning new ones). I have one message for such people, “Please stop bothering mothers and sisters for every little inconvenience you face. We do plenty as it is”.



9. The Auto-rickshaw drivers: If anybody can be called a daredevil, it is this group. This vehicle has no seat belts and no doors. It is small and is without a solid-sturdy body. Despite that, our autowallahs swerve crazily,rarely follow traffic signals, drive in the wrong lanes and make U-turns wherever their heart desires. Once I heard an autowallah say to another driver, “मै क्यूँ  देखकर चलाऊँ ,तू  चला "!



10. The Smotherer : No sense of personal space; reinforcing this stereotype about Indians, the smotherers cannot leave even an inch of space unoccupied on the road. They don’t understand the concept of maintaining a ‘safe distance’ and will most likely be the reason for a few dents on your car.



11. The Normal ones: Rarest of the rarest, they don’t over-speed, don’t honk unnecessarily, always use the indicators and parking lights when needed and maintain their calm even when their cars get banged. They are basically angels on the roads.




While it take guts to drive in India, let us take a moment to appreciate the real brave-hearts on the Indian roads : THE PEDESTRIANS. God bless their souls!

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